On Disparities

I haven't collected my thoughts properly for this post, so it's just going to be a generalized rant, disassociated from much intense research. But the main thrust is, the disparity between being a man and a woman in a relationship that results in a pregnancy.

I will paraphrase my good friend, Tony, who said, in regards to his existing child, "My wife had a baby. I didn't do shit." He will then qualify somewhat, talking about sperm and fucking and all that, but he's reasonably self-deprecating when it comes to the whole process. I tend to agree. However, I don't discount that WE will have a baby someday, even if SHE is the one who carries the poor, rotten bugger.

I bring this up because of some of the weird shit that comes up when you start telling people that you're trying to have a kid. I mean, anyone who's ever been pregnant gets all googley and moogley about the prospects, as though having babies is the best thing ever. As though they don't have enough fucking babies of their own...

Anyhow... There's a co-worker of mine who is now the father of two kids. When he and his wife birthed their first offspring, they determined that wifey could still work. When number two rolled around, it didn't really work out. Wife's income didn't even offset child care, and number two had some minor medical issues, so having her take care of the rugrats and not working made a lot of sense. At least, for the time being.

However, the wifey doesn't have the skill of Driving (zero dots, or -10 untrained), so hubby would be required to drive to any doctors' appointments for any kids. Hubby, my friend, put in for the opportunity to work from home for a few months (I think the request was for six months) so that he could drive the fam to the doctor if needs be. His commute is a pretty long one, so it seemed to make a lot of sense. The requirements for working from home include, but are not limited to, that you must have a private space to work from, you must have a computer, and you will not do any child care while you're at it. During your shift, you've got to work. No breast-feeding, even if you're a fella. My friend fit all those criteria, and his request seemed reasonable.

Unfortunately, he was denied that benefit. For whatever reason, it wasn't deemed appropriate. I'm not sure he was given a reason. Anyway... Shortly after his request was denied, at least three women were granted the work-from-home option after birthing their young. It seemed a bit shitty to me, and, in fact, smelled of gender discrimination. Ladies had babies, so they can stay home (despite the prohibition from doing actual child care--other than incidentals--during the day), while the big, buxom fellow cannot. Fuck. That.

There happens to be a court case rattling around the federal courts right now, Erhardt v. LaHood, I think. Look it up. It's a doozy.

I have gone on the record fighting for the rights of Middle Class White Dudes in the past, but I don't really go to bat for the class that I tend to fit in. I mean, it's tasteless to say that white dudes get a raw deal when we make about 15% more than our female counterparts and don't EVEN get me started on brown people. It's a shit world and sadly, I have a genetic marker that makes it a hell of a lot easier for me to get by than most people. However, I enjoy the idea of an equality standard, and I think that in some ways (not many), white dudes get a raw deal. And in my co-worker's case, I think he's been handed one. So there.

I bring this up because Carly and I are discussing the logistics of having a kid, and how we'll manage child care and time off and all that. And so help me Hunter S. Thompson, if I get denied medical leave to take care of my kid because I didn't pop the baby out of my own scrotum, HOLY SHIT, I will kill a guy.

That's all for now.